[00:00.00] 作词 : David Burd/Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr./David Miramonetz[00:00.00] 作曲 : David Burd/Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr./David Miramonetz[00:00.00][00:03.31]Hello, how can I help you?[00:05.14]Hi, my name's Dave Burd[00:07.32]I have an appointment today. It's probably under "Lil Dicksexy"[00:10.86]Actually, I'm a… I'm a rapper, so…[00:13.37]OK, and who are you here to see?[00:15.71]Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g"[00:19.52]Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right[00:22.72]Give him a knock and he should be right with you[00:24.71]Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?[00:27.42]Mm-hmm[00:28.28]Thank you[00:30.41]Grab a seat[00:31.22]Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet[00:33.09]Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg[00:35.04]Let me just check your sheet[00:36.20]No problem[00:37.00]Sir, let me just say[00:38.07]I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make[00:39.83]I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day[00:41.61]All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave[00:43.53]Let me start with your background[00:44.70]Where you come from?[00:45.44]Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond[00:47.26]Before that[00:47.87]Oh, you talking bout my hometown?[00:48.87]Yeah[00:49.24]I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham[00:52.21]It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around[00:54.03]So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much[00:56.00]I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap[00:58.41]Elaborate[00:59.23]Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school[01:01.86]Like I was doing shit I had to do so when I finished undergrad[01:04.31]I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted[01:06.37]But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping[01:08.10]Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that[01:11.02]When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps[01:13.67]Boo hoo what a hard mother****ing life[01:15.04]How you paid to get the rap shit started?[01:16.48]Man, my Bar Mitzvah money[01:17.59]But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose[01:20.85]I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose[01:22.84]Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass[01:25.08]Yeah, I guess[01:25.59]That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?[01:27.81]Oh my god, it's the best[01:29.14]Bitches let me draw up on their breasts[01:30.34]Literally I can reinvent myself[01:31.92]I get a forum to project myself[01:33.28]It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself[01:35.55]I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself[01:37.81]It's kinda healthy[01:38.56]Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals[01:40.54]Sure[01:40.84]In a club and a couple niggas threaten you[01:42.40]Uh, I wouldn't do shit[01:44.12]And I don't even get what that got to do with this?[01:46.04]Shut the **** up, rap's like life[01:47.34]If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch[01:50.00]Nah, that's my niche![01:51.11]Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed[01:53.84]That's the target I'll hit[01:55.18]And that's the heart of my pitch[01:56.48]I wanna do this whole thing different[01:59.12]What the **** you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?[02:01.59]Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know[02:03.56]Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh you know, the same kind of way for a long time[02:07.73]But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?[02:10.27]Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know[02:12.95]You don't know if it could be working even better[02:15.33]And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out[02:19.02]I don't mean any disrespect by that[02:20.75]I'm just saying I have a different background[02:22.18]Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant[02:26.79]So what are your biggest strengths?[02:28.72]Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing[02:30.89]For example, I can be like ain't nobody ****ing with Lil Dicksexy[02:32.97]When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous[02:34.73]Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable[02:37.41]Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit in whatever cadence you ****ing prefer[02:39.74]Alright, alright, I get it[02:40.91]Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)[02:42.63]Got a long bottom nigga, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)[02:44.59]And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)[02:46.43]You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better[02:48.31]And y'all been winning like Pistorius, it's no feat[02:50.13]Bro, I can go on and on[02:51.34]I'm taking over and they mad like father-in-laws[02:53.39]OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different than the other guys[02:56.59]Well I don't know if they can run it like that[02:58.00]But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap[02:59.78]What's that?[03:00.12]Well I can tell a story about my morning[03:01.84]Watching Boy Meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence[03:04.52]Like the 14 year old Topanga[03:05.83]Oh this shit like a joke to you? I don't get it[03:07.66]Nah it ain't like that[03:08.49]I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual, like, as a guy[03:11.56]So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie[03:13.84]Real recognize real, right?[03:15.06]Yeah, I guess. So what you trying to do?[03:16.67]Five years from now, tell me bout the due[03:18.61]Well, I don't care about the money[03:19.77]Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting[03:21.24]Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats[03:22.62]Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate[03:24.68]I don't wanna leave the game the same[03:26.00]In a nutshell, what's your legacy?[03:27.78]Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand-up rap[03:30.03]Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was anti-rap[03:33.22]Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap is ironically one of the real brands of rap left[03:38.03]That shit sound pretty damn complex[03:39.55]I guess, I wanna be the best[03:40.72]I just wanna do it my way[03:42.09]And turn the whole game sideways[03:43.46]And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway[03:45.53]You can make a path while these mother****ers drive straight[03:47.64]I ain't mad at that[03:48.61]Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack[03:49.86]Just let me in and I'mma rap the plaques[03:51.16]And I ain't about to win them back to back[03:52.90]I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back[03:55.08]Til I stop rapping[03:56.20]You ain't even sold a damn album yet[03:57.95]True[03:58.28]That's a lot of talk from a wily vet[03:59.64]Let alone a young rook bitch[04:01.13]You misread me[04:01.89]Nah this ain't a book bitch[04:03.05]Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg[04:05.44]No, you just ****ing repetitive dawg[04:07.16]I get it, you trying to be better than all, but you ain't shit until cheddars involved[04:11.11]I get that I gotta prove myself[04:12.57]No shit you ain't done shit[04:14.06]But think about that though[04:15.00]Only doing this a couple of years[04:16.43]One tape and I'm like this?[04:17.49]This shit is aight for your first shit[04:19.11]But you don't know if it's your worst shit[04:20.41]You don't think finding out would be worth it?[04:22.33]It might be, it might not[04:23.95]But I'mma put your ass to work, kid[04:25.65]Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?[04:28.51]Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together[04:32.16]What would you do for the hook for this song?[04:33.56]You want me to make a hook up right now?[04:35.70]Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?[04:38.13]Alright, uh, okay[04:39.32]Man do the hook![04:40.67]I'm bout to be professional[04:42.50]Homie, I'm professional[04:44.27]Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?[04:46.51]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Bitch, that shit is garbage ma[04:49.17]Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it[04:51.85]But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that[04:54.04]Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?[04:57.39]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg mother****ing shit right ther[05:01.37]Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through[05:04.45]Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing[05:06.80]Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?[05:08.85]Right now?[05:09.86]Yeah[05:10.37]Sure[05:11.21]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: ****. Juanita, bring some mother****ers in here, please. Thank yo[05:14.02]You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there[05:15.69]Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman[05:18.39]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Bitch, why does everything you say sound so soft[05:21.28]Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…[05:24.84]Yeah, whatever. Thanks[05:25.87]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Hey, I got y'all y'all mother****ers[05:28.00]Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) by Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg from the album Professional Rapper: Damn, that's some great looking shit. It's just so earl[05:31.96]Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?[05:36.37]D-Did you just say head?[05:38.33]Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?[05:41.39]I mean… Just feels like… A lot, right now[05:45.20]OK[05:46.02]But what kind of tea do you guys have?[05:47.34]We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, English breakfast…[05:50.39]Actually, I'll take head[05:52.12]I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head[05:53.88]