Welcome to Our House on Maple Avenue - Judy Kuhn/Michael Cerveris.mp3

[00:00.41]He wants the Hepplewhite suite chairs back in the parlor
[00:04.25]Move the GI Joe, it can’t be on the floor
[00:08.69]He wants the Dresden figurines back in the breakfront
[00:12.83]A slinky messes up the period decor
[00:17.28]Get the lemon pledge and dust the —
[00:19.50]These should face the same direction
[00:21.62]He wants it vacummed
[00:23.16]The surface gleaming
[00:24.75]He wants it closer to the door
[00:29.03]He wants, he wants, he wants
[00:33.28]He wants the brass candelabra set at an angle
[00:33.59]Maker Tool: LRC Editor for mac
[00:33.98]http://www.yumysoft.com
[00:38.36]The crayons and the glue should go back to the drawer
[00:42.53]He wants the bust of Quixote square on the mantel
[00:45.84]Sweep that lint away, it’s what a broom is for
[00:50.65]Gently wipe the eucalyptas
[00:53.07]Polish up the crystal prisms
[00:55.53]When he comes down there He wants it ready
[00:58.90]We’ve got to get it done before…
[01:03.36]He wants, he wants, he wants…
[01:06.20]Where’s my bronzing stick!
[01:07.82]It’s in the —
[01:09.82]Welcome to our house on Maple Avenue
[01:13.82]See how we polish and we shine
[01:18.50]We rearrange and realign
[01:22.45]Everything is balanced and serene
[01:26.75]Like chaos never happens if it’s never seen
[01:32.57]Every need we anticipate and fill
[01:38.70]And still…
[01:46.00]He wants the real feather duster used on the bookcase
[01:49.90]Find every book we read and carefully restore
[01:54.28]He wants them alphabetized by classification
[01:58.53]A volume out of place could start a third world war
[02:02.82]That’s an inch out of position
[02:04.87]Watch it it’s a first edition
[02:06.65]What are we missing, what have we left out?
[02:09.87]When he comes down here what’s in store?
[02:14.19]He wants, he wants, he wants…
[02:17.62]Welcome to our house on Maple Avenue
[02:23.25]See how we polish and we shine
[02:27.69]We rearrange and realign
[02:31.75]Everything is balanced and serene
[02:36.25]Like chaos never happens if it’s never seen
[02:41.24]We’re a typical family quintile
[02:48.40]And yet…
[02:50.50]Not too bad if I say so myself
[02:55.90]I might still break a heart or two
[03:01.53]Sometimes the fire burns too hot
[03:02.37]I don’t know what I’ll do
[03:06.00]Not too bad if I say so myself
[03:11.53]Not too bad…
[03:16.03]Mrs. Bochner, ’tis pleasure to meet you! Come on in
[03:19.28]Obviously still a work in progress
[03:21.69]Oh yes yes, I’ve done all the work myself
[03:24.38]That’s how we’re able to afford the place
[03:26.53]Oh no historic restoration is an avocation for me that’s very flattering
[03:31.53]I teach English at Beach Creek High
[03:33.21]And the Bechdel Funeral Home is our family business so
[03:36.94]This I found yesterday at the dump
[03:37.28]I’m also a funeral director
[03:39.32]You have a keen eye!
[03:40.62](What is he after?)
[03:42.52](What are we doin’?)
[03:43.62]Absolutely I believe Rococo Revival
[03:44.25](Right foot is tapping)
[03:45.00](That means he’s stewing)
[03:46.82]Actually would you like one with the family?
[03:46.90](Stay very still and maybe we’ll please him)
[03:49.61](Make one wrong move and demons will seize him)
[03:50.25]Kids! Mrs. Bachner wants to take a photo
[03:52.25]Hello! Anybody home?
[03:52.43](Try hard what else is family for?)
[03:53.52]I’ll be there in a minute!
[03:56.75]He wants, he wants, he wants…
[03:59.84]He wants more
[04:07.03]Caption.
[04:08.33]My dad and I both grew up in the small Pennsylvania town
[04:12.69]And he was gay, and I was gay
[04:13.87]And he killed himself
[04:15.33]And I —
[04:20.19]Became a lesbian cartoonist.