Everyone Hates His Parents - Brandon Uranowitz/Christian Borle.mp3

[00:02.834]JASON: Just look at me, I'm a world-class traveler
[00:06.289]Each Friday night, travel, travel, travel
[00:09.476]From her house to his house
[00:11.371]First take the 104, with my computer
[00:14.434]I'm just a little kid, not a commuter
[00:18.046]And each Sunday night, mother comes to get me
[00:21.307]And I hear them fight
[00:23.243]Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah
[00:26.463]It's not a wrestling match, why are they sweating
[00:29.659]It's not a funeral, what's so upsetting
[00:33.271]It's a celebration
[00:36.415]Where I get presents
[00:39.574]But everybody's yelling and everybody's ruining it
[00:45.707]It's a celebration
[00:48.823]Where I get richer
[00:51.940]But everybody's yelling and everybody's ruining it
[00:55.150]Everybody's ruining it!
[00:57.003]Why, oh, why
[00:59.883]What have I done that
[01:01.141]They'd ruin my bar mitzvah
[01:02.581]ALL: What have I done that
[01:04.091]They'd ruin my/the bar mitzvah
[01:05.779]TRINA: I want the Applebaums. They're lovely and they like me.
[01:09.671]MARVIN: They're boring, she just like the way you dress
[01:12.904]MENDEL: Well, who wouldn't?
[01:14.060]TRINA: Have the Applebaums
[01:15.015]MARVIN: Screw the Applebaums
[01:16.073]JASON: Please don't do this
[01:16.950]MARVIN: Saul's a jerk
[01:17.869]TRINA: Just have them
[01:18.586]MARVIN: Nix them
[01:19.232]MENDEL: Long live the Applebaums! Arguing takes work!
[01:22.071]JASON: I hate this.
[01:23.173]MARVIN: Blame her, it is all a waste
[01:25.749]TRINA: You're gonna blame me? You have paintings of d**ks! Don't talk to me about taste
[01:30.374]JASON: Stop! I don't want a bar mitzvah. Okay? I don't want a bar mitzvah!
[01:37.796]MARVIN AND TRINA: What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah?×2
[01:42.650]How do you think we, how do you think we, how do you think we feel about that?
[01:55.995]MENDEL: Jason, I am agitato grande.
[01:59.817]Jason, I am muy disgutante,
[02:02.962]And muy disappointe, and muy naseatus,
[02:06.673]And me mitzraim hotzionoo dayenu!
[02:13.146]Everyone hates his parents, don't be ashamed.
[02:16.697]You'll grow up, you'll come through, you'll have kids, and they'll hate you too!
[02:21.137]Oh, everyone hates his parents,
[02:23.322]But, I confess,
[02:24.653]You grow up, you get old, you hate less!
[02:29.047]JASON: But I don't want it.
[02:32.415]Nothing that gives them pleasure, I'll do.
[02:35.947]I don't want a bar mitzvah！
[02:39.095]Stupid bar mitzvah,
[02:40.885]Any bar mitzvah. Would you?
[02:46.446]MENDEL: Everyone hates his parents.
[02:48.625]That's in the Torah!
[02:50.046]It's what history shows!
[02:52.056]In fact, God said to Moses, 'Moses, everyone hates his parents. That's how it is! '
[02:58.027]And God knew because God hated his!
[03:04.612]MARVIN: You are gonna kill your mother.
[03:06.477]Don't feel guilty, kill your mother.
[03:08.543]Rather than humiliate her,
[03:10.324]Killing your mother is the merciful thing to do.
[03:14.469]TRINA: Jason, darling, don't get nervous. I'm right here and at your service.
[03:18.227]Look, I'm calm and self-deluded,
[03:20.126]Grateful cause I hope you'll do what I pray you'll do.
[03:24.260]MARVIN: Go ahead and kill your mother.
[03:25.945]TRINA: Not with guns, but kill your mother.
[03:28.002]MARVIN AND TRINA: Rather than humiliate her, killing your mother is the merciful thing to do.
[03:34.804]MENDEL: Oh my god.
[03:37.873]Everyone hates his parents.
[03:40.073]Now I see why! But in time, they'll cool out
[03:43.355]And you'll think, 'They were only fooling'.
[03:45.997]It's a strange thing about parents,
[03:48.029]Push comes to shove,
[03:49.353]What was hate becomes more or less love!
[03:52.062]MARVIN AND TRINA: Jason, please see a psychiatrist.
[03:54.545]MENDEL: (speaking) I'm a psychiatrist! Get lost!
[04:03.608](singing) Everyone hates his parents! This too shall pass! You'll grow up,
[04:07.841]JASON: I'll come through, I'll have kids,
[04:09.799]MENDEL: And they'll hate you too!
[04:11.249]MENDEL AND JASON: Oh, everyone hates his parents!
[04:13.310]MENDEL: But, kid, I guess
[04:14.544]You'll grow up,
[04:15.494]JASON: I'll grow up,
[04:16.507]MENDEL: You'll get old,
[04:17.401]JASON: I'll get old,
[04:18.447]MENDEL AND JASON: And hate less! And hate less!